I recently got a little bit older .. well we get older every day don't we. But my year changed. As I start approaching that 1/2 a century I have come to realise just how short life is ! I also look at where I am at right now, and realise, there isn't really that much time left make real the dreams I had in my younger years.
My father died when he was 51 .. The average life of man is 75. I reckon I have a few more decades left in me to accomplish what I want to accomplish. Actually I lie, one of the things I want to accomplish has to be done within the next few years, and that's because it will be pretty much impossible to achieve it much past that. I'm talking about children. But you know if it happens it happens.
Anyways I have been thinking alot about life and death lately. I have come to the realisation I really don't care about either. In other words .. if I have a few more years left in me, that's cool, but if I die tomorrow, that's cool too. I wouldn't say I am exactly prepared to meet my maker, but I am prepared to meet whatever my maker has install for me if I do. I know 2 people this week who have died, and in some way I am rather envious of them. Envious that they have been freed from this existence and are able to move on. I am not suicidal btw. I am just feeling that I'd rather be dead .. with my friends that have gone .. and my dad .. and my whanau .. I guess as I am getting older, I am missing those who are leaving me, more and more.
That's all.
Have a great day !
:-)
1 comment:
I am such a dropkick!!!! I totally forgot your birthday and I even had it on my calendar!!!!!!! ARGH!!! happy belated birthday greetings from your totally dropkick kiwi friend, living in america, about to move to italy!
I think the thoughts you are having are pretty normal when you reach this point in your life. I too went through the same thing, go watch the last lecture given by randy pausch (link on my blog) it might change your life thoughts. -love u.
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